Dealing With Infidelity

in Infidelity
For some couples, infidelity is taking place and there may be no real overt signs that it is. As a matter of fact, some of us may actually be guilty of committing infidelity and we may not realize it! The reason for this lies with the fact that infidelity doesnt necessarily require a physical connection. The most common forms of infidelity involve fantasizing about someone else and showing that person extra attention but not taking it further than that.
This could be a colleague at work who is treated with more affection than what would generally be called for. To the other members of the staff, it may seem like just an innocent case of unrequited attraction and maybe a little too much professional courtesy. Maybe, something that can be smiled at, but not taken seriously. After all, doesnt he or she go straight home after work, every day? The object of the attraction may even be flattered a bit and do nothing to discourage this extra attention. They may even encourage it a bit. After all, theres no harm done, right?
But the truth of the matter is far more serious than that. This can especially be seen as a partner or spouse begins to emotionally distance themselves and fill that void with thoughts and attention given to the fantasy partner. Eventually, this emotional distancing can even take on a form of passive aggressive hostility as resentment grows out of the perceived failure of the partner to obtain what theyre looking for in the actual relationship as opposed to the fantasy. It should also be noted that emotional infidelity can often precipitate physical infidelity. It is only through communication that one can understand a partners current state of mine, boundaries and principles.
Once infidelity has been discovered, there are effective ways to begin the healing process. First of all, for the partner that has committed the infidelity, there must be an understanding concerning what the other partner is experiencing. Winning back a level of trust after hurting someone else is a process and a difficult one at that. There will be many negative emotions to deal with. However, the avoidance of anger will go a long way in facilitating the recovery.
The main thing to keep in mind is that there will be no quick fix that will eliminate the trauma associated with adultery. Establishing trust with communication is a two-way street. It is a reasonable consideration to closely look at what was perceived missing from the original relationship. Its not a question of just pointing a finger at the one who committed the infidelity and accuse that person of wrong-doing while demanding that they fix the problem themselves. There can be issues on both sides of the relationship that need reviewing and adjusting.
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Barbara Longsworth has 1 articles online


The main thing to keep in mind is that there will be no quick fix that will eliminate the trauma associated with adultery. Establishing trust with communication is a two-way street. It is a reasonable consideration to closely look at what was perceived missing from the original relationship. Its not a question of just pointing a finger at the one who committed the infidelity and accuse that person of wrong-doing while demanding that they fix the problem themselves.

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Dealing With Infidelity

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This article was published on 2011/03/26